-
Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
-
In a hostage situation you are likely to be
released first.
-
No one expects you to run into a burning
building.
-
People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"
-
People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
-
There's nothing left to learn the hard way.
-
Things you buy now won't wear out.
-
You can eat dinner at 4 p.m.
-
You can live without sex (but not without
glasses).
-
You enjoy hearing about other people's
operations.
-
You get into a heated argument about pension
plans.
-
You have a party and the neighbors don't even
realize it.
-
You no longer think of speed limits as a
challenge.
-
You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no
matter who walks into the room.
-
You sing along with the elevator music.
-
Your eyes won't get much worse.
-
Your investment in health insurance is finally
beginning to pay off.
-
Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than
the National Weather Service.
-
Your secrets are safe with your friends because
they can't remember them either.
-
Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a
manageable size.
-
You can't remember who sent you this.
