Senior Citizen

• I'm the life of the party... even when it lasts 'till 8pm.

• I'm very good at opening childproof caps with a hammer.

• I'm usually interested in going home before I get to where I'm going.

• I'm good on a trip for at least an hour without my aspirin, antacid...

• I'm the first one to find the bathroom wherever I go.

• I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to get up.

• I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear a word you're saying.

• I'm very good at telling stories...over and over and over and over.

• I'm aware that other people's grandchildren are not as bright as mine.

• I'm so cared for: long-term care, eye care, private care, dental care.

• I'm not grouchy, I just don't like traffic, waiting, children,  politicians...

• I'm positive I did housework correctly before the Internet.

• I'm sure everything I can't find is in a secure place.

• I'm wrinkled, saggy and lumpy, and that's just my left leg.

• I'm having trouble remembering simple words like... uh...

• I'm realizing that aging is not for sissies.

• I'm walking more (to the bathroom) and enjoying it less.

• I'm sure they are making adults much younger these days.

• I'm in the *initial* state of my golden years: SS, CD's, IRA's, AARP.

• I'm wondering, if you're only as old as you feel, how could I be alive at 150?

• I'm anti-everything now: anti-fat, anti-smoke, anti-noise,  anti-inflammatory.

• I'm a walking storeroom of facts... I've just lost the key to the storeroom.

• I'm a Senior Citizen and I think I am having the time of my life... Aren't I?

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Last modified: July 07, 2003

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