The Military Retirement Bonus

The Pentagon recently found it had too many generals and offered an  early retirement bonus.

They promised any general who retired right away, his full annual  benefits plus $10,000 for every inch measured in a straight line along  the retiring general's body between any two points he chose.

The first general accepted. He asked the pension man to measure from the  top of his head to the tip of his toes. 6 feet. He walked out with a  check for $720,000.

The second general asked them to measure from the tip of his  outstretched hands to his toes. 8 feet. He walked away with a check  $960,000.

Meantime, the first general had tipped off the third as to the  additional bonus check.

When the third general was asked where to measure, he told the pension  man, "from the tip of my penis, to the bottom of my testicles."

The pension man said that would be fine, but he'd better get the Medical Officer to do the measuring.

The Medical Officer attended and asked the general to drop his  pants. He did... The Medical Officer placed the tape on the tip of the  general's penis and began to work back.

"My God!" he said, "where are your testicles?!"

The general replied, "Back in Nam!"

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Last modified: July 08, 2003

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