In Heaven
This old couple, having been married almost 60 years, had died in a
car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years mainly due
to her interest in health food, and exercise.
When they reached the pearly gates, St. Peter took them to their
mansion which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen and master bath
suite and Jacuzzi.
As they "oohed and aahed" the old man asked Peter how much all this
was going to cost. "It's free," Peter replied, "this is Heaven."
Next they went out back to survey the championship golf course that
the home backed up to. They would have golfing privileges everyday and
each week the course changed to a new one representing the great golf
courses on earth.
The old man asked, "what are the green fees?".
Peter's reply, "This is heaven, you play for free."
Next they went to the club house and saw the lavish buffet lunch with
the cuisine's of the world laid out. "How much to eat?" asked the old
man.
"Don't you understand yet? This is heaven, it's all free!" Peter
replied with some exasperation. "Well, where are the low-fat and
low-cholesterol tables?" the old man asked timidly.
Peter lectured, "That's the best part...you can eat as much as you
like of whatever you like and you never get fat and you never get
sick. This is Heaven."
With that the old man went into a fit of rage, throwing down his hat
and stomping on it, and shrieking wildly. Peter and his wife both
tried to calm him down, asking him what was wrong. The old man looked
at his wife and said, "This is all your fault. If it weren't for your
bran muffins, I could have been here ten years ago!"
